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05 November 2007 @ 05:06 pm
Stress and the City...I Prefer Sex and the City  
. Since it has been previously decreed that no hotel in Los Angeles is spacious enough for the prestigious event, Whitney has taken a leap of faith and brought Lisa Love to what appears to be a defunct church. And hallelujah, Lisa actually likes it! (Personally, I think given the theme of the party, that a rehab center/jail would have been a more apropos venue, but that's just me.) Lisa points out they need to cover up the confessionals that line the sides of the building but Whitney cleverly suggest converting them into photo booths. This idea seems to fly. It's a huge space and Lisa says now the challenge is to make sure it looks full of people because this is Hollywood baby, and the only thing worse than a half-empty glass is a half-full party. An assistant says he'll get some sketches ready for Amy Astley the editor at Teen Vogue's New York office. Amy Astley, Lisa Love, is having an alliterating name a job requirement to be an editor at Teen Vogue or something?

Later, at the Teen Vogue office, Lisa Love calls Whitney and Lauren into her office. She must be reading my blog and taking my advice re: Rogaine because her hair no longer looks like she's undergoing the early stages of chemotherapy. Lisa tells the girls they will be taking the red eye to NYC to pitch their presentation for the YHP to Amy Astley and the New York staff.

The girls return to their office/closet and rejoice over getting to go to NYC. Whitney is relieved Lauren is coming along because she was nervous about making the presentation on her own. Like any good fashionista, they start freaking out about what to wear, but Lauren's got it covered since she has a "dress on reserve" especially for the occasion of an impromptu trip to New York. My jealousy over Lauren's wardrobe is sort of slowly evolving into hatred, especially because it probably cost more than my college education. But that's neither here nor there, back to the recap.

Spencer drops by Bolthouse to stalk Heidi some more, when he runs into omnipresent club promoter and Brody/Lauren cohort Frankie who just happens to be picking up his check from Bolthouse at that exact moment. What a coincidence! There's some awkward "how's it been going" chit chat before Frankie calls out Spencer for blowing off his and Brody's calls. Spencer turns into a thirteen year-old girl about to get her period and starts bitching about how he can't forgive Brody for being friendly with Lauren who he randomly refers to as "LC". Frankie tells Spencer that he and Brody are both friends with Lauren and Spencer's girly hissy fits aren't going to change that. Frankie points out that Brody reached out to Spencer by calling him for his birthday, so if Spencer wants his boy back, it's his turn to make some calls. Spencer says he is all about moving forward. I'd like to move Spencer forward, right into the path of a speeding mack truck.

Heidi emerges to meet her man for lunch and he recounts his awkward run-in with Frankie. Of course Spencer revises the whole thing to make Frankie the big bad wolf to his Litte Red Riding Dick. Whatevs. Then Spencer steps up on his crucifix of martyrdom whining about what an awesome loyal friend he was to Brody and how he's getting the shaft in return. Don't really care Spence. Why don't you go cry in a corner with Ilan Hall?

Footage of LAX, a plane taking off and landing followed by shots of New York indicate Lauren and Whitney have reached their intended destination. They arrive at the Teen Vogue office and tell the receptionist they are there to see Amy Astley. While they wait for the big A, Whitney stresses about her outfit and admits that she didn't really practice the presentation. Really bad call there, Whit. Lauren and Whitney are called into Miss Astley's office and OMG WTF is up with Amy's hair? It's a severe, unflattering, and frighteningly geometric bob. Maybe it doubles as a letter opener? Seriously, she is the editor of a fashion magazine and her hair looks like it was styled by 3-CP0? Amy informs them that the YHP presentation will actually be later that afternoon and she has arranged for Lauren to help out at Marc Jacobs' studio since he is Lauren's favorite designer. Lauren is all "so you don't need me for the meeting?" Amy confirms this and Whitney's gulp of terror is audible as she realizes she is going to have to give the presentation on her own. Amy tells Lauren she has 20 minutes to get her ass downtown to MJ, so Lauren bolts out of the office to catch a cab.

Even though the aerial shot that led us to commercials showed a single cab hauling ass down a mostly deserted street, once Lauren hits the downtown vicinity she finds herself ensnared in a lovely patch of that famous New York traffic. She pays the cabbie and hoofs the rest of the way down to MJ's studio on foot. She makes it just in time for her meeting with Kate Waters, the VP of Communications. They are doing a casting for the YHP show and the studio is overflowing with anemic, malnourished looking models. They put Lauren in charge of taking care of all the final styling details for the models before the casting directors see them. Man, all the models look so pale and tired, I just want to give them some self-tanner, a triple latte and a box of Krispy Kremes.

Back at Teen Vogue NY, the YHP meeting has started. Amy Astley introduces Whitney to the staff and Whitney stumbles through the presentation while Amy interrogates her like Chris Hansen laying into one of the pedophiles on Dateline NBC's To Catch a Predator. Amy makes dismissive comments/noises at practically every one of Whitney's ideas while her snooty pretentious staff snickers and looks condescending. Amy concludes the meeting by sending Whitney's ass packing back to LA with a laundry list of inquiries for Lisa Love without so much as throwing her a "good job" or even a "thank you". Damn, them Teen Vogue editors are some tough ass bitches!

Lauren is hard at work styling the models when Mr. Marc Jacobs comes out to introduce himself. They exchange pleasantries and Lauren cracks a joke soliciting a giggle from MJ before he disappears back into his office or wherever he was before. I know the man is a fashion god, but his outfit, MUST be discussed. They say "those who can't do teach" and I think it is also true that those who can't dress design because Marc Jacobs' outfit looks like he's an extra in some 80's movie about male gymnasts. Flamboyantly gay male gymnasts.

Lauren and Whitney return to the hotel and pack up what appears to be three weeks worth of luggage for an overnight trip. Hmm..me thinks perhaps there was more to this trip than the MTV cameras have let on. Either that or Lauren and Whitney both need to get their asses to an Overpackers Anonymous meeting ASAP. Whitney nervously wonders whether Amy has given Lisa a review of the presentation yet. Boring footage of the girls dragging their luggage about NYC, hailing a cab , going to the airport and flying back to LA.

Spencer sits alone in his candlelit apartment and calls Brody. Brody doesn't answer. Spencer goes all Jen Bunney style leaving a message simply saying he and Brody "need to talk" or something to that affect. Spencer's voice kind of makes my ears bleed, so I tend to have difficulty focusing on anything he's saying.

Lauren and Whitney arrive at some frou-frou restaurant in the Disney Concert Hall building to do a tasting for the YHP. Whitney tells Lauren she is worried because she still hasn't gotten any feedback about her presentation in New York and she knows Lisa is not one to hold back on the criticism. Lisa and her entourage arrive. Lisa tells everyone within earshot that the presentation went fine and then basically makes fun of the "fancy" dress Whitney wore while making said presentation. Amy Astley's review of Whitney obviously included a fashion review which I find hi-larious coming from someone who looks like she just got back from an audition for Stargate Atlantis. Bitch.

At Hillside Villas, Brody drops by to visit Lauren. She gives him a great big hug like she hasn't seen him in years. Brody wants to know about the trip to NY. Lauren gives him a recap and tells him how she got to meet Marc Jacobs, which Brody actually seems excited about because he's a huge metro. I've already discussed the eyebrows. Brody tells Lauren he got a call from Spencer. Lauren looks stricken but says nothing. Brody says he hasn't returned the call yet and doesn't think he will because he doesn't think his friendship with Spencer could ever be the same again. Lauren looks empathetic and tells Brody she doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up a friendship. Awww, after all Spencer has put her through, Lauren still won't make Brody choose between them. Now that's a REAL friend, Spencer, you conniving, self-serving asshole. Brody assures Lauren that this is his choice. They promise to always be there for each other and then Brody tells Lauren to bring it on in for a nice cuddle. Lauren obliges and they watch some TV. Then we get a 3 minute pan-out shot of LA. This whole episode had like 8 minutes of actual content. Maybe the producers should have opted for a slightly shorter season.

Next week: It's Heidi's 21st birthday party (like anyone cares) and it looks like the YHP might go horribly wrong for Lauren…again.